Live Faithfully, Fight Bravely, and Die Laughing!

Well here I was, all ready to don the blogger's quill once more and bore my three readers with anecdotes of life as a J-School grad in the middle of a recession when lo and behold... something twinkled and grabbed my attention.

I don't want to be a Godwin or anything (I already have my favourite angry white man), but I struggle to fathom who my fellows have voted in when I read our Associate Minister of Defence Heather Roy write this sort of garbage (my emphasis):

As well as the main Review, I will personally be leading a set of companion studies. These will focus on our defence industry, on the role of the NZDF in youth programmes and the Cadet Forces, and voluntary national service.

The gleeful announcement that Mrs Roy has secured a review into how our Defence Force can play a role in youth programmes (boot camps anyone?) as one of the three (three?!?) companion studies to the Defence Review that will make up the Minister's White Paper (decisive stuff here guys), put certain images in my head...


Going through the national security policy of our "classic liberal" party I can't find anything that may point to the defence force having a role in youth programmes.

Ah heck, just call Godwin and let's get this over with:



If anyone out there can enlighten me as to what the NZDF has to do with youth programmes that doesn't resemble the Hitler-Jugend, fill me in....

PB.

Paranoia's not the problem - it's the reptiles that we should be worried about

I dutifully read Fran O'Sullivan this morning and thought well done. Well done indeed. It's given me the opportunity to fly the latest in my long line of conspiracy theories that I often keep under wraps, and both Bomber and Jafapete have only themselves to blame (points were deducted from Jafapete for hat-tipping to the Standard - loverly guys but this vid was a poor piece of propoganda).

Theory number one comes from people (like myself) who like the long game. I've had theories about how the Hon Bill English is one of these people - I won't bore you with the details, but the general gist is this. If you go back to the end of last year, Fran's wish-list for the top stories of 2008 holds this wee gem:

4. John Key and Bill English cut succession deal Key offers English a secret deal that he will step down as Prime Minister after two terms in favour of his Treasurer (English). The former currency trader recognises that English - who virtually single-handed ran the Electoral Finance Bill story that catapulted National back up the polls - deserves to succeed him. This assumes Key has read the lessons from the reigns of Tony Blair and John Howard about what happens to unity when talented finance supremos are left to fester for too long.

Lew will pooh-pooh me as he thinks Key is "It's a dog eat dog world and I've got bigger teeth than you," but I like to think of Fran in her Winebox days - if something smells fishy, that's probably because there's a snapper lying around.

Tenuous correlation number two came from reading the Armstrong-O'Sullivan combo, and isn't linked to the above at all. Yoda wrote:

National will know soon enough from its own private polling just how big a hit it has taken. Many people will wonder what all the fuss is about. Others will simply blame Labour for the dirty tricks. As a minimum, however, National can probably wave goodbye to securing a majority in its own right. (My emphasis)

Obviously, it was the last line that caught my attention.

I've got a bet with a few friends that ACT's going to ring in 6% of the vote. Seems obvious to me - you've got 5% of the population who are libertarian, neo-lib, and neo-con nutters, just like you've got 5% of the population who not only like Winston, but actually believe him too.

The issue is that 45% is not too much of a stretch for the Nats, and if you tack on ACT in a formal coalition you've got a prime opportunity to go back on any promises you made on the campaign trail ("we don't want to, it's Rodney's and Roger's fault"). Expediency is a wonderful thing.

This is only wild speculation on my part - I'm sure there are many minds that can rip this flight of fancy to pieces - but if our next Government (and even this pinko commie's coming around to a centre-right coalition) is blue and yellow, I'm looking forward to front row seats. I was too young for Lockwood's about-face last time and I wouldn't mind witnessing a repeat.

The Day in Review Oct 16

- Another day was encompassed by our terror camps in the Ureweras. Even the Times got in on the act, as Campbell was keen to point out. Again, everyone opened with it, and ran with it, and tried to cover every conceivable aspect of it. Lisa Owen was all over Jamie Lockett's court case, coming back to us after the weather to let us know that the High Court had rescinded his bail (although she didn't get to interview him for Close Up). 3 opened with the bail hearing of Tame Iti, then went on to visit a training camp, where they didn't find any weapons. Fran Mold, sorry, Francesca, told us that the Maori Party wasn't happy with the whole ordeal, raising their issues in Parliament; as did Garner Major. 3 also pointed out that TradeMe was the site where the groups purchased most of their goods. Protests are-a-coming. I'd read Bomber if I were you.
- Tucked behind this biggie was rape allegations against four Kiwis following their drubbing by the Kangaroos. The NZRL hasn't commented yet.
- There was also an earthquake in the South Island.
- Dr. Cullen's talking down tax-cuts (for a change) in the face of the Howard and Costello act.
- And Contact's entered the wind game, announcing it will build it in Waikato. Well, 3 let us know before the half-hour was up.
- Oh, and Barbara Dreaver let us know that the PM was the only dignitary not formally announced at the Pacific Forum.
- Close Up and Campbell did all they could on the big story - Close Up stooping to an interview with Frances Mountier of the Save the Happy Valley Coalition (so she got asked a few questions by a few cops, it's not like they left her to get run down by a train, which I'm sure Dr. Elder would quite like to see), so I'm not going to elaborate. Really.
- Moment of gut-wrenching agony - not Lisa Owen's breaking news, but 3 with its report on the reaction of Ruatoki locals to the harsh brutality of the Auckland police in making their arrests. Not the story in and of itself, but its announcement of the rule of tyranny in Utopia - (I'm paraphrasing) - "One unnamed freedom fighter said the whole situation had been blown out of proportion." Too much of The Clean for that one.
Good night.